Thought I would get a lil’ sassy *wink*. I’m sure everyone has or will go through these situations at one point in their small biz careers and you just have to laugh. Sometimes a measly $30 ain’t worth it!
“To whom it may concern/ the crazy bitch asking the world of me,
- Yes I own a business, but no I will not reschedule my day to deliver your parcel to your doorstep. My biz is not a hobby, it’s a BUSINESS. Bitch, I don’t need your $30 dollars.
- Thanks so much for making an order from me. No, I will not open up my shop Christmas Eve because you were too stupid to purchase in advance. I can buy my own turkey. Bitch, I don’t need your $30 dollars.
- You left all your Christmas shopping to the last 5 days, but you want me to make you a custom order AND ship it to arrive before the 25th on Etsy? Sure! I don’t need to spend time with my family! Bitch, I don’t need your $30 dollars.
- Sorry no, you cannot change your custom order for the 3rd time and not pay for it when I’ve already bought the materials… twice. My tools don’t grow on trees. Bitch, I don’t need your $30 dollars.
- Congratulations! You’re waving a $50 at me when my price clearly states that it’s $60. I am not a hooker, don’t put that money in my face. Bitch, I don’t need your $50 dollars.
- Girl – it’s 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday. No I will not respond to your email right away. I’m S-L-E-E-P-I-N-G. Bitch, I don’t need your $30 dollars.
- You need a Valentine’s day gift at 5PM. I have dinner with my partner at 7 PM and I’m gettin’ dolled up. Sorry lady – I’m getting laid tonight! Bitch, I don’t need your $30 dollars.
- Yes maam’ I do local pick ups! No, 45 minutes out of town does not count. You want it – come to ME. Bitch, I don’t need your $30.
- Oh you think that if you buy one you should get the other for free? Do I look like Walmart? Bitch, I don’t need your $30.”
Ok, some of these are “extreme” but I have seen all of these done before. What are some crazy things you have been asked for? Sometimes $30 bucks just ain’t worth it. That won’t even pay my grocery bill!
Big thanks to a couple girlfriends who inspired this post. It’s too funny not to!
7 thoughts on “Bitch, I Don’t Need Your $30 Dollars”
Hahaha so funny!
I have a crush on you now. That piece was amazing.
Haha! I’m so glad you liked it! I giggled way too often when writing it.
Too funny! 😂
I have to laugh because I have heard every single one of these at some point in my time of owning a biz! It’s crazy!
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Omg the custom order one! Yes!!
Right?! What the hell are we supposed to do with the stuff we already ordered? Plus it’s never stuff we can use in our regular line!